Author Archives: Josh

Cloudy with a Chance of Crazy

Posted by: Josh

Cheap thrills last Saturday when we saw a movie in the park. The cost? Zipple. Unless you also bought a house while you were there, which is what they were selling, and which we did not (unless Maggie snuck off while I was chasing Eleanor around, but she looked pretty comfortable on the picnic blanket so I’m going to doubt that there are any mortgages I’m unaware of). The movie, which is one of Eleanor’s favorites (also mine!), was Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. If you haven’t seen it, see it. If you have seen it, unsee it. Just kidding. That’s physically impossible, and also very not advisable, because this movie is hilarious, and has a LOT of sardine references.

Bonus: Valencia shelled out for free kettle corn AND drinks. Sugary drinks, not drinky drinks, but still pretty good. Thanks Awesometown! That was awfully awesome of you, he said with a straight face. We brought a picnic dinner and enjoyed the popcorn, and I took a lot of pictures with Maggie’s “old” camera. If you’re a regular reader, you can guess that I also spent a good amount of time chasing Eleanor around the park, at least until the movie started. Then, believe it or not, she sat down and watched about two-thirds of it before losing her mind and running around in the dark babbling hysterically (as she is wont to do). All in all, a lovely evening!

Here’s Eleanor, really considering a Lennar box. In the end, she decided on racing around the grass trailing a big bag of popcorn behind her instead.

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As part of the good times, Awesometown handed out bubbles to all the kids! Naturally, Maggie snatched them all up and proceeded to blow 24 bottles of bubbles into the air.

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Sometimes, just for kicks, Eleanor runs at top speed with her eyes closed. Not her problem, right?

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The movie didn’t start until it got dark, so we were out past bedtime! Living it up in Awesometown!

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Eleanor tried to fit two handfuls of popcorn into her mouth at the same time. Success!

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Then Maggie ate her face. Success!

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Since Maggie claims to have seen the movie like a bah-jillion times already, she brought her own entertainment. Yup, nothing like reading about post-apocalyptic death marches to brighten up the evening.

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Movie in the Park 13

Wordless Wednesday: Movie in the Park

Posted by: Josh

Eleanor is an Insult Comic

Posted by: Josh

One of the mind-wobbling things about being a parent is getting to watch your kids’ strange personalities (and they are ALL strange) unfurl. Bill Cosby was so RIGHT, kids say some crazy shit. I’d love to have ALL of it on video, but these days, the best we can do to keep up with all of the ridiculous things that come out of Eleanor’s mouth is to record the gems on the Twitters, but honestly they’re the tip of the iceberg. A mammoth, icy block of nonsense floating around in her head that regularly gouges holes in the cruise liner of our days.

As it turns out, my baby girl is an insult comic. Yup, we got little Don Rickles laying it on us every day now. How did it come to this?

For a long time now Eleanor has been aware of the power of comedy. This should not be a surprise. The wife and I probably value humor over all other traits (which may explain why we’re always broke). So naturally, Eleanor gets the best reactions from Mommy & Daddy when she does something funny.

Unfortunately, this has recently backfired on us, as Eleanor has discovered the bluer side of comedy.

Eleanor: “You’re a poopy!” (slow grin)
Me: “What?!”
Eleanor: (maniacal laughter) “You’re a poopy poop!”

That’s right. I’ve spent literally YEARS cleaning her dirty diapers, and I’M the poopy poop. So okay, I really don’t mind being a poopy poop. In fact, I think it’s pretty hilarious that we gave birth to Triumph the insult comic dog, but not everybody finds this dialogue as charming as we do. Visions of her adolescence are starting to concern me:

Eleanor’s first boyfriend: “I.. I just wanted you to know.. I love you.”
E: “Pansy. Wanna get some ice cream?”

God, that sounds eerily familiar.

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