To my baby’s momma, on Mother’s Day, an ode to your motherfulness.
Thank you for being the fantastical momma that you are. You are the engine that makes our family GO, even when you have to drag us behind you like broken-down trailers. You are our fearless leader, and we will follow you wherever you think we should go, unless we are feeling very tired and then maybe we’ll just sit on the couch for a little while. But you will be there too, and I will have your baby get your booties because your feet are probably cold. Also, ice cream? Because even if your feet are cold, ice cream is a good idea.
So today is your day, to do mommy things, or to more likely not, depending on you how feel. Maybe Mother’s Day really means No Mothers Day, because the mommas can all disappear from mothering, and we should all remember how nice it was to have a momma to momma us, and we will write poems, make brunches, draw cards to convince them to come back for another year. And in the meantime, you can just be a Person, who may or may not continue to momma this family, depending on the quality and quantity of our toadying and the majesty of our tribute, and you can just chill, and watch some Weeds or 30 Rock or something, or maybe just banish your subjects from sight because those guys are like ALWAYS here doing stuff and it gets old. So old.
But hopefully we can show you that sticking around for another year really is a terrific idea, or that at least you’ll break-even, because look at all the hilarious stuff we can do!, and you wouldn’t need to find any packing boxes. And also I made you this food! Yum!
Now, we put our heads together and made a list of your finest qualities, all of which we’ve witnessed in person, so the people can believe that they are bona fide, but I left it with your daughter and now suddenly as if by magic it is disappeared and while I don’t believe her story that the shadows on the sun took it and then gave it to the bubbles bubbles bubbles with the spider and now its in the tree on her wall (with the pink owl) and we can’t get it anymore, I haven’t pressed her. But because I am all grown up and have lived with you for like a long time now, I can still remember most of them, some being 1. you are the sweetest 2. the most positive 3. the most reasonable 4. most smartest and 5. most loving momma in our family. So thanks for that. “Daddy, say ‘Good Job!’” she says to me. To say to you.
Happy Mother’s Day!
And we love you.