Lets talk about exercise. The exercise routine that I am attempting to adhere to is the following: 3 days a week of cardio pilates for 45 minutes and 2 days a week of toning pilates for 30 minutes. I have a DVD that I use either in the morning before Eleanor wakes up if I have time or in the afternoon while she is napping. Thus far I am having trouble keeping up with this routine because I hate it.

I mostly hate it for three reasons, two of which are probably the same reasons anyone else hates it and the third is all my own: 1. It’s hard work, and I’m a little lazy, 2. It’s boring, and 3. I have a disability that makes it kinda painful.

I think I use it as an excuse not to exercise sometimes, but at least it is a good excuse. I have Arthrogryposis. Arthrogryposis is a term used to describe rare congenital conditions characterized by multiple joint contractures (have you ever noticed that my arms don’t extend fully? they are at permanent 90 and 120 degree angles, I try to avoid showing it in pictures by folding my arms, putting them on my hips or behind my back) and can include muscle weakness and growth retardation (why I’m only 4′11”). They think the muscular conditions occur because the nerves have failed to tell the muscles how to behave properly. It mostly affects the joints. In some people it affects all joints, and in me it affects my elbows, hips, knees, ankles, and toes. I had a bunch of surgeries when I was a baby to fix the joint contractures in my legs and another surgery on my feet and ankles when I was 14.

I can’t complain too much though. A lot of people with Arthrogryposis can’t walk and I walk just fine, just not long distances or up more than one flight of stairs at a time. I can’t run though and I have very low muscle tone which I can’t really improve much or very easily. I can’t do a sit up, or a crunch, or squats, or push-ups, or pull-ups. What it really means is that I’m somewhat limited as far as exercise goes. I do what I can though.

The real problem is that I get some pain in my joints after exercise, a little in my hips and knees and a lot in my ankles. I’ve exercised every day for the last five days and my ankles are killing me , they feel stiff and swollen and sore.

Although I can deal with it because I’m pretty used to it, it makes me lose motivation.  After a week like this and a busy weekend. I tend to say I’ll skip exercise on Monday to give my ankles a rest, but then on Tuesday my ankles don’t feel much better so I might skip again, and by then I’ve lost some motivation and I might just skip the rest of the week.

I guess it’s mostly a motivation issue. I was talking to my brother-in-law last night who is in school to become a physical therapist and he thinks it might help to see a physical therapist, so maybe I’ll do that. If I can get the pain level down a little I think I might be a little more motivated to stick to an exercise routine and if I do that I think I might be able to lose the weight I want to without having to watch what I eat so closely. So I can have a glass of wine on a weekend without feeling like I just sabotaged my diet.

We’ll see.