Seriously parents, why didn’t anyone warn me about this?! I make it through preschool, elementary, junior high, high school (just barely), undergrad, and finally law school. I thought I was done with IT. After all, I have done my fair share of IT. Well, not even close to as much as I was supposed to, but still! I should be done! But NO, you have one kid and IT is back.
You know what I’m talking about parents, IT is HOMEWORK! The bane of my young life. And just when I thought I was rid of it forever, it has returned. And I don’t mean Eleanor’s homework (although that has arrived, more on that later). I mean homework for ME (or Josh, I suppose, but really is he going to do it? probably not) that I am expected to do and return to school. ME the parent, not the student. They expect me to complete worksheets and actually do an arts & craft project! I was to create a box that represented Eleanor in some way, using pictures of things that she likes. Seriously? Seriously! Seriously.
Can you tell how taken aback I was when I found out? Well, if they want me to act like a student I am happy to oblige which is why I put my assignment on my desk and didn’t look at it for three months. Oh yes, I am quite the skilled procrastinator. It’s a skill I began honing in high school and really perfected in law school.
This weekend I finally decided it was time to do my work. And so I present to you…
The “Me Box”
- A Shoe Box
- Back Issues of Martha Stewart Living & Real Simple
- Glue Stick
- Scotch Tape
- A General Distaste for being Forced to do Crafts of Any Kind
- A Deep Hatred of Homework
- A Complete Lack of Free Time
- Spend (Waste) an hour going through magazines looking for pictures of “Purple” or a similar vague requests from your child.
- Glue Stick the images you cut out to all surfaces of the shoe box. Make sure that the images completely cover all visible areas of the box, because what would the other parents think of you if they saw actual shoe box under those pictures!
- Tape down all edges and corners so that they are smooth and the images will not tear with significant handling.
- Don’t forget to apply the same obsessive perfectionism that got you through law school to an arts & craft project for your child.
- Upon completion wonder whether you should have just glued on the word “family” and a picture of the family and the family pets like the other parents did.
I’d like my gold star now.
p.s. If you’re wondering how this represents Eleanor, the sides are all in purple (her new favorite color) and the top has all sorts of fresh fruits and veggies that she loves (because she eats like nobody’s business). The image on top is from the 5 year anniversary portraits Amy of Teegan Photography shot for us!